Deuteronomy 6:1-9
PARENTING BY THE BOOK
So far we have been discussing matters related to the home and family. Family, as we know it, is under attack in our society.
Same-sex marriage in the United States is recognized in several jurisdictions. As of November 2012, nine states—Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts,New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, and Washington—as well as the District of Columbia and two Native American tribes[1]—have legalized same-sex marriage. In addition, Rhode Island recognizes same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions,[2][3] and California, which briefly granted same-sex marriages in 2008, now recognizes them on a conditional basis.[4]
Ref. Wikipedia.org
The mainstream entertainment industry has also joined the attack. The days of Andy Griffith, My Three Sons, and Leave it to Beaver is long gone. It is reporter that the number of homosexual characters on television shows is doubling. This obviously highlights the social left’s influence in their bid to control the entertainment industry and their desire to mainstream acceptance of homosexuality in the broader culture. It is not surprising that those in Hollywood would push the envelope socially. It’s also not coincidental that such efforts coincide with network television entertainment increasingly becoming a cultural wasteland.
My only question is now and always has been WHY? Why are we allowing such a small percentage of the population in America to dictate the direction this country is going? It is estimated that ONLY 3.8% of the population identifies itself with being lesbian, gay or bi-sexual. Yet they seem to have the loudest voice today.
The answer can only be placed at the doorstep of one group of people, PARENTS. Sadly parents today are not the parents their mom and dad were. Parents today are too busy building careers and socializing and not parenting. Children are left to be raised by the entertainment industry, the internet, and social media. They are taught in our schools and universities by liberal left wing teachers, whose agenda appears to be working, because we are losing an entire generation of young people to radical left wing ideas.
The Bible is clear when it reminds us that children are a precious gift from the Lord
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalms 127:3-5 (KJV)
Far too often, however, children are seen as an inconvenience and as a nuisance. Instead of being seen a blessing, parenting is often seen as a burden. We must remember that our children have been placed in our lives for a just a few short years. They have been given to us so that we might help them to mature into the adults God desires them to be. We are not to be guilty of forcing them into our mold, but we are to do everything in our power to mold them into the image of Jesus Christ.
1 Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: 2 That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. 3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Deut 6:1-9 (KJV)
What It Means To Parent By The Book
Parents Must Live Right:
Successful parenting always begins with a parent’s relationship with God. No parent can succeed in helping a child grow up into the image of the Lord unless they know the Lord.
Parents must be walking in a right relationship before the Lord or they will never have the influence in their children’s lives that is needed. In other words, you will never be able to lead your children somewhere you have never been. These first few verses speak to this issue and show parents where they need to be if they are going to be the effective parents God desires them to be.
He Speaks About Reverence – We are told in verse 2 that we should “fear the Lord.” That is, we are to walk with awareness of His glory, His holiness and of His majesty. A parent’s primary responsibility is to walk in the fear of the Lord.
We are to bring our lives under God’s Lordship. A godly parent places the Lord’s will above all other considerations, realizing that the fear of the Lord is the first step in wisdom and in proper parenting.
He Speaks About Reactions – When we fear the Lord as we should, we will obey His Word. There is no better witness to our children than the sure knowledge that mom and dad take the Bible seriously; and that God’s Word is the rule of the home.
God’s standards are to be our standards. When God speaks we are to respond by doing what He tells us to do, and refrain from what He forbids us to do.
Your children will often model what they see in your life not what they hear you talk about doing. It is your responsibility to teach them the God’s Word is to be obeyed.
He Speaks About Rewards – God promised Israel that when they followed His Word, He would bless them and reward their lives. The same holds true today! God has promised to bless those who walk in His will and follow His Word.
Children need to see that God will do what He has said He would do.
• Do your children know that God will bless tithing?Mal. 3:8-10.
• Do your children know that God will bless honesty?Phil. 4:8; 1 Thes. 4:11-12.
• Do your children see that faithfulness is blessed by God? Matt. 25:21.
• Do your children see serving God as optional or mandatory?
They will learn exactly what they observe in your life. They need to know that God blesses faithful people. If they see us enjoying the great blessings of the Lord, they will want the same things for their own lives.
Let’s show them that serving God is the only way to live, and that obedience to the Lord always pays off. Let’s show them that God’s way is the best way. It is far better to raise a religious fanatic than a heathen. When your parenting duties are over, your children will be a living memorial to your investment in their lives.
By the way, you can’t do that if all you do is complain about the church, the preacher and way things are done at the Lord’s house. You can’t teach them to honor the Lord if you don’t honor Him. You can’t teach them to be faithful if you aren’t faithful. You can’t teach them to love the Lord if all you do is encourage them to love the world.
Parents Must Love Right:
Before we can ever be successful parents, we must have our own relationship with the Lord in the right place. Living right is not complete unless we love right also.
Our Love Is To Be Focused On The Lord – There are to be no other gods in our lives. Too often, children see parents putting everything in the world ahead of God. It may be a job, a hobby, a friend, etc. Whatever comes ahead of God in your life is an idol and it sends a false message to our children.
We are telling them, by our actions, that this thing we love comes ahead of our love for God. Children need to know that no one or no thing comes before our relationship with God. He must be our focus. If we teach them that God is just for Sundays, we are going to raise a generation of infidels.
Why do you think many children have rejected the faith of their parents? Sometimes, the reason lies in the fact that what mom and dad claimed to have lacked any reality.
Our Love Is To Be Fixed On The Lord – This love for God is to motivate us in every area of life. Our love for Him should consume us totally.
When we love Him like we should, we will be in our place at church time. We will support the work of the church with our giving, our living and our time. We will teach our children to be faithful to the things of God, not to personal opinion. We will teach them to respect the church, the people of God and the men of God. We will teach them to love the Word of God, the worship of God and the will of God! Our children need to see this in the lives of mom and dad.
Parents Must Learn Right:
In these verses, Moses reveals the importance of the Word of God in successful parenting. We are to take the Word of God and make it the primary motivator in all we do as parents. Moses mentions three things that we to do with God’s Word.
We Are To Study It – The Word is to be taken in, and it is to be allowed to change our lives. If I expect my life to impact my children, then I must be transformed by the Word myself. Nothing can happen through me until it first happens in me.
The importance and influence of the Word of God should never be underestimated! If we expect to raise Godly children, there must first be godly parents!
We Are To Share It – This verse says that we are to “diligently” teach the Word to our children. The word “diligently” means “to whet or to sharpen.” It carries the idea “of stabbing, or of one object penetrating another.”
In other words, our training is to penetrate deeply into our children. We are to help them, on the basis of God’s word to be keen, sharp and discerning when it comes to living life. We are not to teach them through dogmatic exclamations such as “Because I said so!”
1 Thes. 2:11 has some timely advice for parents. There are 3 ways we are to influence our children:
1. Exhort – “To call to one’s side.” This speaks of an effort to get your children on your team. To develop within them the same sort of convictions that you yourself possess. You do this by consistent loving and living. If you live one way and try to push them in another, you will fail! The problem with most children is that they turn out just like their parents!
2. Comfort – To Encourage. As parents, we are to seek to bring out the best in our children by encouraging them in the things they do correctly and in the things they do well.
3. Charge – This word means “to call a witness or to protest.” As parents, there are times when we cannot condone everything and we must witness against the behavior of our children.
Pro. 22:6 – Realize That Each Child Has An Individual Bent – This verse says that we are to “train up” our children. These words speak of “a midwife who would dip her finger in crushed dates to awaken in the newborn infant a desire for milk.”
What this means is that the training we give our children should whet their appetites for the things of God. We should so lead them that they develop a hunger for God and are internally motivated rather then externally compelled.
This phrase can also refer to “the placing of a rope in a wild horses mouth.” Certainly, there must be rules and boundaries, but there should also be an internal desire to know and follow the Lord. This is awakened by parental example. Parents must learn the proper balance between example and boundaries.
This verse also mentions “In the way he should go.” This does not mean in the way you think he should go, but it refers to the individual bent that is in every child. All children are like cement; they are impressionable.
All children are gifted in different ways. The wise parent sees the differences and raises each child accordingly. Every child has different interests and they should be trained according to those interests. Some are leaders, some are followers. Some are creative and artistic; others are more practical and logical. Some are gifted intellectually and others struggle to learn. A wise parent trains up a child in the way HE should go. Not according to the parent’s will for the child, but according to God’s will created as part of the child.
Realize That Each Child Is Born With A Sinful Nature – They seem so sweet when they get here. But, do not be fooled by that sweet little baby. Inside every one of them is a defiled, sinful nature and it begins expressing itself almost immediately.
Therefore, parents are not only challenged to teach children to do the right thing, we are challenged to punish them when they do the wrong thing. If a parent does not punish their children, then the children will punish them!
Chastisement Reduces Foolishness – Pro. 22:15,“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
Chastisement Rescues From Judgment – Pro. 23:13-14, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatesthim with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Chastisement Helps Them Receive Wisdom – Pro. 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”
Chastisement Helps Relieve Your Anxiety – Pro. 29:17, “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”
Chastisement Helps Them To Reflect God’s Character –Heb. 12:10-11
Chastisement Reminds Them You Love Them – Pro. 13:24, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that lovethhim chasteneth him betimes.”
Susannah Wesley, who raised 17 children, including John and Charles Wesley, and who most would consider to be somewhat of an expert said this about discipline.
“The parent that studies to subdue self-will in his child works together with God in renewing and saving a soul. The parent who indulges it does the devil’s work, makes salvation unattainable, and does all that in him lies to damn his child, soul and body forever.”
Closing Thought: It is far easier to train a child than it is to repair an adult.
